How does Steade decide who to introduce me to?
Steade only introduces two people who each meet the other’s age range and dealbreakers, and who both fit each other’s preferences well. Each round then finds a stable set of introductions: no two people would both rather have been introduced to each other. It uses only what you’ve told us, never photos or popularity.
Step 1: who could be introduced
For each round, we pair a man and a woman only when all of these are true:
- each is inside the other’s age range
- each meets every one of the other’s dealbreakers
- their plans don’t clash on the few things that apply to everyone, such as one wanting children and the other not (see the full list)
- they haven’t been introduced in the last 90 days, and neither has blocked the other
Both sides always count. You’re only introduced to someone who fits you and whom you fit.
Step 2: how well you fit
Your preferences decide how well someone fits you. We compare your preferences with the answers they’ve made visible, question by question. Where you haven’t set a preference, your own answer stands in for it. Family plans, faith and values count most, then lifestyle, then interests, then money and practical things such as languages. Your Life together answers, if you’ve given them, count a little too. If you mark a preference as This matters a lot to me, it counts twice as much.
Someone becomes a possible introduction only if they fit you well enough and you fit them well enough.
Step 3: the round
Many people could suit more than one person, so the round looks at everyone together. It picks a set of introductions that is stable: there’s no pair who both prefer each other to the person they were each given. Among people who fit you about equally well, someone who has waited longer for an introduction comes first.
What we don’t use
- Photos, looks or attractiveness
- Popularity
- AI guesses about you, or anything you haven’t told us
- Answers you’ve kept private. They never count towards anyone else’s preferences or dealbreakers.
- The descriptions from What makes you feel cared for and How you communicate. They’re for getting to know each other, not for deciding who you meet. Only your wake-up time and texting style count, a little.
What “stable” doesn’t mean
A stable introduction is a fair one, given what you both said matters. It can’t tell you whether you’ll get on in person. That part is up to the two of you.